#'(LAMBDA NIL NIL)

No celebration.

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 03:47:15 GMT

So, yeah, sure, the health care bill passed the House. But, I am not cheering. With the Stupak amendment attached to it, it represents a giant step backward for women's health care. It wasn't enough for him, for the Republicans, or for 64 other Democratic representatives, that the Hyde amendment forbade the use of federal funds for abortions. No, they had to go a step further, and use the public option and the health care exchange to effectively prohibit private insurers from covering abortions, too.

Nor is there any guarantee of covering other women's health procedures, such as pap smears, mammograms, hormonal contraception, and the like. This amendment was a giant, extended middle finger to 51% of the United States population.

It remains to be seen whether the Senate does something similar, or if they act against this odious amendment. And there's always the conference committee, as well. But even the fact that this amendment passed, with the support of many Democratic reps (including my own!), is bad enough.

I am cubic and wisest human.

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:19:53 GMT

Why? Because I actually bought one of the Time Cube clocks.

See?

Let's take a closer look:

It really works. Kind of hard to read, but it does work.

Yes, I am very silly.

(More serious posting to come later. Right now I am tired and fuzzy-headed.)

Recorded for posterity. And posterior.

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 02:13:11 GMT

Flewellyn: I just had another one of those holy shit moments.
LimpingPigeon: I warned you about those bran communion wafers.

Ghosts taste like chicken, naturally.

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 05:27:17 GMT

Dubbug: how's flew?
Flewellyn: Pretty good.
Flewellyn: I had good dinner.
Dubbug: ooo
Dubbug: turkey?
Flewellyn: Nope.
Flewellyn: Hungarian goulash.
Dubbug: GHOULS!??!?!!?
Flewellyn: No, goulash.
Flewellyn: It's a kind of beef gravy dish.
Dubbug: it's not even hallowe'en yet!!!
Dubbug: wha?!
Flewellyn: With paprika.
Dubbug: ghouls aren't made of beef you know...?
Flewellyn: This has nothing to do with ghouls.
Flewellyn: It's just a coincidence of spelling.
Dubbug: erk
Dubbug: I doubt it!
Dubbug: I bet it was some sneaky secret thing waaaaaaay back
Dubbug: and ppl just forgot it
Dubbug: ...or the secret managed to NOT leak, for once
Flewellyn: You absurd bug.
Dubbug: am not!
Flewellyn: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goulash
Dubbug: I am most definately not a bean curd!
Dubbug: wait...absurd?
Dubbug: what's that?
Flewellyn: It means very silly.
Dubbug: oh, definately not that, either
Dubbug: CAULDRON!
Flewellyn: Yup.
Dubbug: it's HAS to have ghouls in it NOW!
Dubbug: a WITCH MADE ITTTTT
Flewellyn: Witches can make perfectly good food, you know.
Dubbug: so?
Dubbug: I never said ghouls were not tastey
Flewellyn: Hmm.
Dubbug: I just never had them before

Ahem! Nature! I want to see your manager, nature!

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 04:17:42 GMT

Dammit, when I ordered the cooler weather, I did NOT ask for the side of rhinoviridae. Did I have to spell that out? "Early autumn weather, hold the upper respiratory infections", is that required?

Argh. I want to speak to a supervisor.

Just a short note.

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 03:17:28 GMT

Sometimes, when I voice my concerns that the wealthy have far too much power in our society, I am accused, along with other progressives, of promoting "class warfare".

I have only one response.

The wealthy declared the class war long ago. We are declaring that we have noticed.

"ACCIO FACEHUGGER!"

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 01:17:34 GMT

Okay, so I'm not a huge fan of fanfic. I like writing stuff, and I like reading stuff...but I prefer to write stuff about my OWN stuff. I will gladly be inspired by the works of others, but I want to make my own plots, my own settings, and my own characters. It's just a thing.

I'm also not usually fond of reading fanfic. I've made some exceptions, but most of the time I am not interested. I find, in particular, the idea of crossovers to be hideously wrong. To me, it doesn't make sense to mix together two fictional worlds, which have different assumptions and serve different narrative needs.

But, doing so humorously can be a delightful bit of evil fun, and so I have lately found myself trying to think of the worst possible crossover ideas ever. Paul T. Riddell, former sci-fi and comics writer, came up with my first entry: Absolutely Fabulous/Farscape.

Here are some of my own:

The Shield/Diff'rent Strokes

Stargate SG-1/My Little Pony

Hellraiser/Care Bears

Aliens/Harry Potter (whence the post title)

Silent Hill/Sesame Street

If any of you have any other ideas, I ~~dread~~ welcome them in comments!

EDIT: One more: A Midsummer Night's Dream/Night of the Living Dead.

Random thought on a Monday morning.

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 02:30:35 GMT

So, this morning, as I was driving to work, I reached an intersection in the semi-rural area north of town, near the bridge I cross to go to work. And, in the middle of this intersection, I saw a teapot, just randomly sitting there. Not broken or anything, just a small blue china teapot, in the middle of the road.

The thought which crossed my mind? "Goodness, did Russell's Teapot somehow fall to Earth? What are the odds?"

[Open notice] "Temporary failure in name resolution" on Mac OS X server in scripts run from Apache

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 22:44:56 GMT

This is a note for anyone out there who has run into this problem on Mac OS X Server: your program needs to resolve a host name, and works fine from the command line. However, when run from Apache, host names fail to resolve, and you get the error message "temporary failure in name resolution" in your Apache error_log. You may be tearing your hair out, because from the command line, DNS resolution works fine, but somehow, any program run from Apache can't resolve a DNS lookup.

The problem is not with your DNS server, or your Apache setup. It does not depend on what language you use to write your programs, either. You need to make sure that httpd starts using the program "StartupItemContext" so that its Mach ports are set up correctly! This is found in /usr/libexec/ and will fix the problem.

So, you must use /usr/libexec/StartupItemContext to run Apache. This will fix it. Do this!

And boost the signal! I drove myself nearly crazy looking for solutions for months before I found this out.

We can all stop making things now: this is the best ever.

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 04:57:50 GMT

Seriously. This is truly the best thing in existence.

It's an actual Time Cube.

Stop me before I filk again!

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 23:26:48 GMT

Okay, so a friend started one of her posts with "It's time to change the layout." Nothing too earth-shattering, but the cadence of that sentence must have excited the hamster in my head, because it started running on its wheel and got the little gears turning in my brain.

And so, from somewhere in there, this came out. It's sung to the tune of the "Muppet Show" theme:

t's time to change the layout
It's time to choose hilights
It's time to tweak the spacing in my LJ style tonight!

It's time to select backgrounds
It's time to design right
It's time to customize themes in my LJ style tonight!

Why do we always change things?
I guess we'll never know
It's like a kind of torture
To edit S2 code!

And now let's get things styled
Why don't we get things styled
It's time to get things styled
In my most layoutified, brightly colorified, HTMLified, CSS-stylified,
This is what I call my LJ styyyyle!

We need to reindex "batshit insane" to a higher baseline.

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 05:16:53 GMT

Okay, the latest Freeper/Birther/Obama's-really-a-half-breed-muslin/alien overlord/whatthefuckever meme flying around the wingnutosphere is that Obama can't possibly be a legitimate 'Murrican*' because, supposedly, he's...

...wait for it...

NOT CIRCUMCISED.

Seriously. Actual people have expended actual time actually speculating about this actual topic.

Now, of course, rational thinkers everywhere (which rules out most of the hard-right GOP base these days) would respond with two questions:

1. How in the blue peepin' hellacious eyes of Samuel W. Scratch would anybody other than his parents, his doctor, and his wife know about the Presidential member's cut or uncut status to begin with?!

and

2. For the sake of Saint Fuck of Fucksenbourg**, what the hell difference would it make? It's not as if men in America with both cut and uncut penises do not exist, side by side, living in perfect penile harmony.

This is so risible, so laughable, so beyond absurd, that the phrase "grasping at straws" doesn't begin to cover it. (And brings to mind rather less than welcome mental images, so let's not go there.)

My first thought, when I read this? "Wow...the shadowy corporate overlords orchestrating these insane shitstorms sure are getting awfully cocky..."

* As opposed to Merkin, who is not appearing in this picture.

** Saint Fuck of Fucksenbourg is the patron saint of fivenication. It's one better than fournication...

Never mind "bite the wax tadpole", this is much better!

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 23:58:01 GMT

Talking about Engrish with Dubbug:

Dubbug: I like when I went to china
Dubbug: they had kfc there
Dubbug: you know kfc uses the slogan "we do chicken right"?
Flewellyn: Yes?
Dubbug: they translated it to chinese
Dubbug: exactly like that
Flewellyn: How did it come out?
Dubbug: but if you read it, it means "it's right for us to be prostitutes"

Writer's Block: Two Truths and a Lie

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 03:14:07 GMT

Post two truths and a lie about yourself as an answer to Writer's Block. Have people guess which is the lie in the comments.

View 533 Answers

1. My measured IQ score is "unknown".

2. My sister was born in the town of Normal.

3.

I would also have accepted "Rush Limbaugh" as an answer.

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 23:20:53 GMT

LimpingPigeon: http://newmedia.funnyjunk.com/pictures/CamelSpiderPoster.jpg
LimpingPigeon: WHY HAVE THOSE THINGS NOT BEEN DRIVEN TO EXTINCTION!!!!???
Flewellyn: GAAH
Flewellyn: Probably because they're very successful predators?
LimpingPigeon: THOSE THINGS SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO EXIST!!!
Flewellyn: By whom?
LimpingPigeon: ?
Flewellyn: Who should do the allowing?
LimpingPigeon: ME!!!
Flewellyn: Ohh.
LimpingPigeon: And I say that those things are just UNCALLED FOR!
Flewellyn: Why?
Flewellyn: I think they're kinda cool.
LimpingPigeon: Because they're huge and icky!
Flewellyn: So is Donald Trump, but...
LimpingPigeon: ... you win

Random photo.

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 02:47:53 GMT

This is a park in my hometown of Moorhead, Minnesota. We have many of them, but this one is special.

You can probably see why.

Here's another shot, closer in, so you can read the sign better:

No explanations. You don't want to know.

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 05:10:16 GMT

LimpingPigeon: Here's a phrase I did not expect to read today "The Correct Use of Christian Porn". And yet, there it is.

The terrorist threat is real. And it's white.

Sun, 14 Jun 2009 03:02:00 GMT

Sara Robinson of Orcinus wrote an excellent summary of the terrorist activities of the radical right-wing, which have averaged one attack on American citizens every two weeks since January 20th. The campaign by the far-right against mainstream America, against every enemy they imagine themselves to have, has been relentless, and it has been openly encouraged, or at least condoned by the conservatives in the media, halfhearted condemnations to the contrary.

Conservatives in general do not, I believe, approve of such things; that is to say, I don't believe everyone in America who self-identifies as conservative, or even the majority of them, would look upon any of these attacks with anything but horror. But to hear the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, and company tell it, these extremists are part and parcel of the mainstream of the Republican party. After each attack, they have shed a few crocodile tears, while continuing to insist that the rhetoric they spout, the rhetoric the extremist terrorists themselves use as their justification, is completely unconnected to the rapid upswing in violence. Yet they do nothing to try and actually discourage the extremists; if anything, they intensify their hateful rhetoric.

Well, we can add another attack to the tally. Three people connected with the anti-immigration group Minuteman American Defense invaded the home of a Mexican-American family and shot and killed two people, a 9 year old girl and her father. The motive is obvious: these people hate immigrants, especially Mexicans. The entire purpose of their movement is to "protect" America from the "menace" of Mexicans coming into our country.

It's a refrain we've heard a great deal from right-wing media pundits such as the aforementioned Limbaugh, Hannity, Malkin, Coulter, et al. And yet we are expected to believe that the mainstreaming of extreme right-wing hatred in our national discourse has no connection to the upswing in extreme right-wing violence.

I'm not buying it anymore. As far as I am concerned, the talking heads in the media who spout rhetoric that is used to justify domestic terrorism, are themselves guilty of aiding and abetting. Freedom of expression doesn't make it okay.

Conundrum

Sun, 17 May 2009 03:39:30 GMT

I've discovered that, as far as take-out/delivered pizza goes, I much prefer Pizza Hut for actual pizza. But, I really prefer Papa John's side items.

This leads to some odd questions, such as...should I order from both sometime? Would that end up being too expensive? What if the two delivery people crossed paths at my door? Would they start doing a ninja fight, Mortal Kombat style? Maybe they should combine their powers sometimes to form a giant pizza and side-item robot?

Oh, puzzlement.

This is one of those chats where things start out weird and end up in Wrongsville.

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 04:50:40 GMT

So I was talking to my friend Kitling, and...

Yeah.

Flewellyn: I feel weird.
Kitling: you are weird
Flewellyn: Well, yes, but I mean in a bad way.
Kitling: wait... are you growing extra limbs of some sort?
Flewellyn: Vaguely nauseated.
Flewellyn: Oh, uh, let me check.
Flewellyn: Hmm...no, doesn't seem so.
Kitling: cause that usually feels pretty odd
Flewellyn: Indeed.
Kitling: are you pregnant?
Flewellyn: Err, pretty sure I can't be.
Kitling: you never know
Kitling: but we'll put it at the bottom of the list
Flewellyn: Yeah...
Flewellyn: Although it would be funny for me to buy a pregnancy test.
Kitling: heh. yeah
Flewellyn: It's similar to the idea from XKCD, of standing in the produce section of the supermarket with a can of lube, looking contemplative.
Kitling: heeheehee
Flewellyn: Or, try to find the combination of items that most freaks out a cashiere.
Kitling: heehee
Flewellyn: XKCD's winner so far: home pregnancy test and coat hanger.
Kitling: diapers and a ball-peen hammer
Flewellyn: Uhhhhh...
Flewellyn: *brain breaks*
Kitling: *wins*
Flewellyn: Or, how about a nail gun and a can of lube?
Kitling: *falls over laughing*
Kitling: lube and a dog-training video
Flewellyn: GAAAH
Kitling: heh
Flewellyn: Lube with just about anything, really.
Kitling: true
Flewellyn: Helium canister and a box of condoms.
Kitling: though in portland you can get lube and the things that are supposed to go with it at about 1,000,000 places
Flewellyn: Oh, I got one.
Kitling: we have the highest per-capita porn stores and strip clubs in the country
Flewellyn: A nature video and a big box of tissues.
Kitling: ....odd
Flewellyn: Like you were going to jerk off while watching it.
Kitling: not freaky. just seems like you'd be crying a lot
Flewellyn: Oh.
Kitling: add in lotion, then, ok
Kitling: remember, it doesn't have to just be two things
Flewellyn: Condoms, baby oil, and a jackhammer.
Kitling: HA
Kitling: are we sticking to the grocery store?
Flewellyn: A shovel, quicklime, and a set of handcuffs.
Kitling: niiiiice
Flewellyn: Oh, and a box of ammo.
Flewellyn: Okay, now, that one gets a bit too disturbing.
Kitling: nah, cause you could jsut beat someone to death with the shovel
Flewellyn: *thinks*
Kitling: adding the ammo shows intent, and is enough for a warrant
Flewellyn: True.
Flewellyn: Of course, you wouldn't actually have done anything, so the police would find nothing.
Flewellyn: Still, a bit too disturbing.
Flewellyn: I prefer to go with the "pervert" idea.
Kitling: true, but if you're buying AS IF you were going to do something, you'd have thought of that
Kitling: oh, yeah, I'm much more about being a pervert than being violent
Flewellyn: A staple gun, a caulking gun, and a box of adult diapers.
Kitling: ......aaaand you win

Happy Earth Day?

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 05:21:17 GMT

"The last transmission will occur at the apex."

"And so it begins..."

Edit: Alright alright, this is what I'm referring to.

Reaping what they have sown.

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 13:38:49 GMT

As many of you already know, Amazon.com has decided to "show consideration" for their "entire customer base" by delisting the sales rankings of GLBT-friendly books. They have not seen fit to do the same with anti-GLBT books, however, and as a result, Searching for "homosexuality" links to a series of homophobic books by right-wing fundamentalists.

In light of this, I sent this letter to Amazon.com moments ago:

I wish my account closed, effective immediately, in protest of your policies against GLBT content. I object in the strongest possible terms to this discriminatory behavior, and refuse to do any further business with you until such time as you cease such promotion of bigotry.

Sincerely,
[my name]

I would encourage all of you who read me, and have not already done so, to do the same.

I hold your hand in mine, dear...

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 04:57:30 GMT

Flewellyn: I forget, how old are you again?
LimpingPigeon: THIS MANY! *holds up all her fingers, and a whole handfull of extra fingers she keeps in a box under her bed*

I Am Jack's Complete Lack Of Surprise: Journalism Edition.

Sat, 11 Apr 2009 00:21:41 GMT

So, the Atlantic Monthly and National Journal, bastions of traditional media, conducted a survey of prominent members of the news media whether they thought the internet was helping or hurting journalism.

Three guesses which one they said. The first two don't count.

That's right: Media Insiders Say Internet Hurts Journalism was the Atlantic's headline.

Color me shocked.

I found this story on Shakesville, in a story Melissa McEwan had titled "Maybe You Should Try Not Sucking". Other suggested headlines from the comment thread: "Media Insiders Admit to Cluelessness About How to Make Money on the Internet", "Media Insiders Resent Being Caught And Called Out On Their Pathetic, Lazy, Biased Screed Masquerading As News. Details at 11.", and my own, "Media Insiders Hate Competition, Being Shown Up For Falling Down On Job".

To be fair, they are right in one sense: the internet IS hurting journalism, if you define "journalism" the way they do, namely "pronouncements of our opinions as The Truth From On High".

The internet has done a huge number on their monopoly on public discourse, and they're really mad about that. They're important people, dammit! They know this is true because they say so!

Put more generally, they've defined journalism as "what it is that we do, as Important Journalists". Since they have, over the past thirty years, stopped doing actual journalism (in the dictionary sense) and taken on the role of blathering opinion-spouters who speak in soundbites and often don't bother actually researching, that, in their mind, is journalism.

So when people on the internet start actually doing research, and presenting nuanced and detailed views of the world, it feels like an attack on their world of "journalism", and they react with hostility. Because, hey, if just any person can present opinions and soundbites, and amateurs on the internet can present real journalism better than they can, then that might mean that they really aren't as Important and Vital as they insist they are! Why, then the common people might start doing journalism, and we can't have that!

It's confirmed: Red River crested at 40.82 feet on Saturday.

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 07:36:36 GMT

This is not as high as we were expecting, and the reason seems to be the freak blizzard that hit us on Wednesday, and froze everything again. Water flows into the river slowed to a crawl, and the crest was much lower than anticipated.

Hopefully, the cold will hold long enough to let the excess water flush itself out. However, this is what the National Weather Service had to say in its latest bulletin:

COLD TEMPERATURES HAVE TEMPORARILY SLOWED OVERLAND RUNOFF SOUTH OF
FARGO...RESULTING IN A LOWER THAN EXPECTED PEAK FLOW. ALTHOUGH RIVER
LEVELS HAVE STABILIZED MANY FACTORS REMAIN PRESENT THAT COULD
POTENTIALLY CAUSE ADDITIONAL RISES OF ONE HALF TO ONE FOOT AT FARGO.
IT IS NOT UNUSUAL FOR STAGES TO FLUCTUATE IN LARGE FLOODS OF THIS
MAGNITUDE. THE RISK OF ADDITIONAL FLOODING IN THE AREA WILL REMAIN
VERY HIGH FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS.

So, we're still keeping an eye out. As long as levels remain below 43 feet, I'm fine. Despite being two blocks from the river, I'm on high ground. Still, I have my bug-out bag packed and ready, and can grab the cats and leave at any time if I have to.

Still...never thought I'd say it, but thank God for that blizzard!