This is a park in my hometown of Moorhead, Minnesota. We have many of them, but this one is special.

You can probably see why.



Here's another shot, closer in, so you can read the sign better:

Tags: humor, pictures, random

LimpingPigeon: Here's a phrase I did not expect to read today "The Correct Use of Christian Porn". And yet, there it is.

Tags: chat transcripts, humor, no explanation, random

Sara Robinson of Orcinus wrote an excellent summary of the terrorist activities of the radical right-wing, which have averaged one attack on American citizens every two weeks since January 20th. The campaign by the far-right against mainstream America, against every enemy they imagine themselves to have, has been relentless, and it has been openly encouraged, or at least condoned by the conservatives in the media, halfhearted condemnations to the contrary.

Conservatives in general do not, I believe, approve of such things; that is to say, I don't believe everyone in America who self-identifies as conservative, or even the majority of them, would look upon any of these attacks with anything but horror. But to hear the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, and company tell it, these extremists are part and parcel of the mainstream of the Republican party. After each attack, they have shed a few crocodile tears, while continuing to insist that the rhetoric they spout, the rhetoric the extremist terrorists themselves use as their justification, is completely unconnected to the rapid upswing in violence. Yet they do nothing to try and actually discourage the extremists; if anything, they intensify their hateful rhetoric.

Well, we can add another attack to the tally. Three people connected with the anti-immigration group Minuteman American Defense invaded the home of a Mexican-American family and shot and killed two people, a 9 year old girl and her father. The motive is obvious: these people hate immigrants, especially Mexicans. The entire purpose of their movement is to "protect" America from the "menace" of Mexicans coming into our country.

It's a refrain we've heard a great deal from right-wing media pundits such as the aforementioned Limbaugh, Hannity, Malkin, Coulter, et al. And yet we are expected to believe that the mainstreaming of extreme right-wing hatred in our national discourse has no connection to the upswing in extreme right-wing violence.

I'm not buying it anymore. As far as I am concerned, the talking heads in the media who spout rhetoric that is used to justify domestic terrorism, are themselves guilty of aiding and abetting. Freedom of expression doesn't make it okay.

Tags: essays, politics

I've discovered that, as far as take-out/delivered pizza goes, I much prefer Pizza Hut for actual pizza. But, I really prefer Papa John's side items.

This leads to some odd questions, such as...should I order from both sometime? Would that end up being too expensive? What if the two delivery people crossed paths at my door? Would they start doing a ninja fight, Mortal Kombat style? Maybe they should combine their powers sometimes to form a giant pizza and side-item robot?

Oh, puzzlement.

Tags: random

So I was talking to my friend Kitling, and...

Yeah.

Flewellyn: I feel weird.
Kitling: you are weird
Flewellyn: Well, yes, but I mean in a bad way.
Kitling: wait... are you growing extra limbs of some sort?
Flewellyn: Vaguely nauseated.
Flewellyn: Oh, uh, let me check.
Flewellyn: Hmm...no, doesn't seem so.
Kitling: cause that usually feels pretty odd
Flewellyn: Indeed.
Kitling: are you pregnant?
Flewellyn: Err, pretty sure I can't be.
Kitling: you never know
Kitling: but we'll put it at the bottom of the list
Flewellyn: Yeah...
Flewellyn: Although it would be funny for me to buy a pregnancy test.
Kitling: heh. yeah
Flewellyn: It's similar to the idea from XKCD, of standing in the produce section of the supermarket with a can of lube, looking contemplative.
Kitling: heeheehee
Flewellyn: Or, try to find the combination of items that most freaks out a cashiere.
Kitling: heehee
Flewellyn: XKCD's winner so far: home pregnancy test and coat hanger.
Kitling: diapers and a ball-peen hammer
Flewellyn: Uhhhhh...
Flewellyn: *brain breaks*
Kitling: *wins*
Flewellyn: Or, how about a nail gun and a can of lube?
Kitling: *falls over laughing*
Kitling: lube and a dog-training video
Flewellyn: GAAAH
Kitling: heh
Flewellyn: Lube with just about anything, really.
Kitling: true
Flewellyn: Helium canister and a box of condoms.
Kitling: though in portland you can get lube and the things that are supposed to go with it at about 1,000,000 places
Flewellyn: Oh, I got one.
Kitling: we have the highest per-capita porn stores and strip clubs in the country
Flewellyn: A nature video and a big box of tissues.
Kitling: ....odd
Flewellyn: Like you were going to jerk off while watching it.
Kitling: not freaky. just seems like you'd be crying a lot
Flewellyn: Oh.
Kitling: add in lotion, then, ok
Kitling: remember, it doesn't have to just be two things
Flewellyn: Condoms, baby oil, and a jackhammer.
Kitling: HA
Kitling: are we sticking to the grocery store?
Flewellyn: A shovel, quicklime, and a set of handcuffs.
Kitling: niiiiice
Flewellyn: Oh, and a box of ammo.
Flewellyn: Okay, now, that one gets a bit too disturbing.
Kitling: nah, cause you could jsut beat someone to death with the shovel
Flewellyn: *thinks*
Kitling: adding the ammo shows intent, and is enough for a warrant
Flewellyn: True.
Flewellyn: Of course, you wouldn't actually have done anything, so the police would find nothing.
Flewellyn: Still, a bit too disturbing.
Flewellyn: I prefer to go with the "pervert" idea.
Kitling: true, but if you're buying AS IF you were going to do something, you'd have thought of that
Kitling: oh, yeah, I'm much more about being a pervert than being violent
Flewellyn: A staple gun, a caulking gun, and a box of adult diapers.
Kitling: ......aaaand you win

Tags: chat transcripts, humor

"The last transmission will occur at the apex."

"And so it begins..."

Edit: Alright alright, this is what I'm referring to.

Tags: inside references, no explanation, ominous prophecy, sheer diabolical evil

As many of you already know, Amazon.com has decided to "show consideration" for their "entire customer base" by delisting the sales rankings of GLBT-friendly books. They have not seen fit to do the same with anti-GLBT books, however, and as a result, Searching for "homosexuality" links to a series of homophobic books by right-wing fundamentalists.

In light of this, I sent this letter to Amazon.com moments ago:

I wish my account closed, effective immediately, in protest of your policies against GLBT content. I object in the strongest possible terms to this discriminatory behavior, and refuse to do any further business with you until such time as you cease such promotion of bigotry.

Sincerely,
[my name]

I would encourage all of you who read me, and have not already done so, to do the same.

Tags: politics, sheer diabolical evil, topical

Flewellyn: I forget, how old are you again?
LimpingPigeon: THIS MANY! *holds up all her fingers, and a whole handfull of extra fingers she keeps in a box under her bed*

Tags: chat transcripts, humor

So, the Atlantic Monthly and National Journal, bastions of traditional media, conducted a survey of prominent members of the news media whether they thought the internet was helping or hurting journalism.

Three guesses which one they said. The first two don't count.

That's right: Media Insiders Say Internet Hurts Journalism was the Atlantic's headline.

Color me shocked.

I found this story on Shakesville, in a story Melissa McEwan had titled "Maybe You Should Try Not Sucking". Other suggested headlines from the comment thread: "Media Insiders Admit to Cluelessness About How to Make Money on the Internet", "Media Insiders Resent Being Caught And Called Out On Their Pathetic, Lazy, Biased Screed Masquerading As News. Details at 11.", and my own, "Media Insiders Hate Competition, Being Shown Up For Falling Down On Job".

To be fair, they are right in one sense: the internet IS hurting journalism, if you define "journalism" the way they do, namely "pronouncements of our opinions as The Truth From On High".

The internet has done a huge number on their monopoly on public discourse, and they're really mad about that. They're important people, dammit! They know this is true because they say so!

Put more generally, they've defined journalism as "what it is that we do, as Important Journalists". Since they have, over the past thirty years, stopped doing actual journalism (in the dictionary sense) and taken on the role of blathering opinion-spouters who speak in soundbites and often don't bother actually researching, that, in their mind, is journalism.

So when people on the internet start actually doing research, and presenting nuanced and detailed views of the world, it feels like an attack on their world of "journalism", and they react with hostility. Because, hey, if just any person can present opinions and soundbites, and amateurs on the internet can present real journalism better than they can, then that might mean that they really aren't as Important and Vital as they insist they are! Why, then the common people might start doing journalism, and we can't have that!

Tags: humor, topical

This is not as high as we were expecting, and the reason seems to be the freak blizzard that hit us on Wednesday, and froze everything again. Water flows into the river slowed to a crawl, and the crest was much lower than anticipated.

Hopefully, the cold will hold long enough to let the excess water flush itself out. However, this is what the National Weather Service had to say in its latest bulletin:

COLD TEMPERATURES HAVE TEMPORARILY SLOWED OVERLAND RUNOFF SOUTH OF
FARGO...RESULTING IN A LOWER THAN EXPECTED PEAK FLOW. ALTHOUGH RIVER
LEVELS HAVE STABILIZED MANY FACTORS REMAIN PRESENT THAT COULD
POTENTIALLY CAUSE ADDITIONAL RISES OF ONE HALF TO ONE FOOT AT FARGO.
IT IS NOT UNUSUAL FOR STAGES TO FLUCTUATE IN LARGE FLOODS OF THIS
MAGNITUDE. THE RISK OF ADDITIONAL FLOODING IN THE AREA WILL REMAIN
VERY HIGH FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS.

So, we're still keeping an eye out. As long as levels remain below 43 feet, I'm fine. Despite being two blocks from the river, I'm on high ground. Still, I have my bug-out bag packed and ready, and can grab the cats and leave at any time if I have to.

Still...never thought I'd say it, but thank God for that blizzard!

Tags: life stuff, the flood

I think this is the funniest Onion News Network video ever. In fact, I think it's the funniest thing the Onion has ever done.



Unusual for a YouTube video, the comment thread is great. There were a number of literate people there making literary jokes. I saved a few highlights:


ElusiveJo (3 days ago)
My flight was once redirected to Kafka due to a paperwork error. The x-ray screening machine carved my alleged crime on my back, and there was a giant cockroach going through my luggage. It was worse than George Orwell in Oceania, which at least gets things moving quickly.

VariedInterest (3 days ago)
I don't know, last time I travelled with Orwell Int. they said I was to get 3 coffee rations during my flight, but when I got on board, they insisted that my coffee ration had been RAISED to TWO. When I tried to explain the misunderstanding, they tied me to a table and electrocuted me until I agreed that the basic truths of mathematics did not exist.

Though, that was still slightly better than the Burroughs Airline, where I was impregnated by the manager who was a mutant crab monster.

---

merdufer (2 days ago)
I was at the Kierkegaard Hospital once and heard the doctors in the hall way discussing whether it would be acceptable to sacrifice their favorite patient to God even though doing so is unethical according to the social norm. I became so afraid I just jumped out of the window from the eighth floor but somehow landed safely on the ground.

---

CJAnonymous (1 day ago)
Say what you want about it, it's still a hell of a lot better than Lovecraft Metropolitan.

My family hasn't stopped screaming since I picked them up from there.

jackball74 (1 day ago)
Yeah - I asked if they served fish in the food court and got dozens of flat, cold stares.

---

johhnyturbo (23 hours ago)
The Doestoevsky hotel is at least better then the Satre Hotel in France. I swear, staying in the rooms there is like staying in Hell.

merdufer (19 hours ago)
you can't blame the hotel for having bad roommates.

Tags: humor

So, a quick update: the Red River's rise has slowed significantly. It has remained below 41 feet all day, inching upward at a glacial rate. It's still a record-breaker, mind you, but it's beginning to look like the crest may be lower than predicted. Or later. Maybe both.

The reason? We got slammed with a sudden cold snap and blizzard on Wednesday, which dumped 8 inches of snow on us, but! Also refroze the water that was flowing into the river. So, while there is snow and ice getting in the way of the volunteers building levees and dikes, the cold is helping us immensely. If nothing else, it's buying time; I can still hear trucks hauling dirt out to the road near my building, to build the levee higher.

I never thought I would say this, but...all praises to the Snow Demons!

Tags: life stuff, the flood

Many of you are probably worried, so here's the scoop: the cities of Fargo and Moorhead have, for the past week, been mobilizing a record number of volunteers and resources to build dikes, dams, levees, and other protections against the oncoming flood of the Red River. The latest work completed built dikes sufficient to protect against the expected crest of 41 feet.

The latest update from the National Weather Service, however, raised the projected crest to 42 or even 43 feet. To give you an idea, the previous record level for a flood in the Fargo-Moorhead area is 40.1 feet, in 1897.

So, they're still out there. Where I live, next to the Clay County Courthouse, is high ground, and the courthouse will not be allowed to flood. They've turned an entire street into an emergency dike, and they're adding to the existing ones to protect against the new expected crest. But the crest is expected within 36 hours. Oh, and did I mention that it's also snowed 8 inches and is below freezing?

I am not expecting to have to leave. But, just in case, I have a bug-out bag ready, and my cat carrier is at hand for kitty evacuation. If I have to go, I will take my lappie with me and try to update you from my new location. Again, not expecting to need to do this, just covering all bases.

The volunteer efforts in the cities have been amazing: I have seen sandbaggers, food carriers, machines, National Guard troops, and police EVERYWHERE. Sandbags and dirt dikes have been going up all over the place, and almost all bridges are closed. Traffic is, as you might expect, quite snarled. But, the people are out and doing what needs to be done, in record numbers. Latest word is that they continue to have too many volunteers.

Just one thing comes to mind: what with all the building of dikes, placing of dikes, reinforcing of dikes, and other dependence on dikes to save this city...when it's all over, Minnesota and North Dakota had damn well better allow gay marriage.

Tags: life stuff, the flood, topical

In response to President Obama's budget plan, the Republicans in Congress have up to now mostly sniped and griped, not offering any sort of alternative.

Today, however, that changed. House Minority Leader John Bohner (R-Bizarro World) and other House Republicans today called a press conference to announce their budget proposal. The details? Well, there really weren't any, except for one thing. Guess what that thing was?

If you said "A massive tax cut for the wealthy!", you win a gallon of dog shampoo!

That's right, folks: the GOP's idea for how to fix the economy broken by years of deregulation and favoritism towards the wealthy is to favor the wealthy even more!

Under the Republican plan, the top marginal tax rate would be slashed from 35 to 25 percent, facilitating a dramatic transfer of wealth up the economic scale. Anyone making more than a $100,000 would pay the top rate; those under would pay 10 percent.

Which is such a good idea in a depression sorry, recession.

And get this: the proposal had absolutely nothing else in it. Even the Washington press corps, renowned for being both lazy and solicitous of conservatives, called Bohner (is it pronounced "boner"? It so should be) on this problem.

From the link:

"Are you going to have any further details on this today?" the first [reporter] asked.

"On what?" asked Boehner.

"There's no detail in here," noted the reporter.

Answered Boehner: "This is a blueprint for where we're going. Are you asking about some other document?"

A second reporter followed up: "What about some numbers? What about the out-year deficit? What about balancing the budget? How are you going to do it?"

"We'll have the alternative budget details next week," promised Boehner.

They called a press conference to announce a "detailed road-to-recovery plan" in which none of the details had actually been worked out. They didn't even have numbers to put to the budget basics. Their entire plan, as presented to the press and the country, is "give the rich more money".

He also called a budget "just a bunch of numbers", and said that it "really is a one-page document" in general practice. What a SMRT guy they've got leading the GOP in the House, nu? I really want someone proposing our national budget who refers to it as "just a bunch of numbers" and thinks one page is enough detail to describe how the entire federal government will spend its money for a year!

While I laugh, though, I am still filled with rage. These idiots who have enabled the idiots on Wall Street to wreck our economy, have decided that the best way to fix the problems they created is...keep doing what they did that created the problems.

Where is Madame Guillotine now that the people need her?

Tags: humor, politics

Admiral Hopper was, among other things, the first woman to achieve a flag rank in the United States Navy, oldest officer in the Navy when she retired, and the inventor of the programming language compiler (and the assembler before it). She was a pioneer in the field of computer science, and without her, we would not have the software we do today.

A compiler is a program which translates software from the language it's programmed in, an abstract and more easily understood language than raw machine code, into the raw machine code that computers understand. Or, more accurately, into assembly language, which is a mnemonic representation of that machine code. Assemblers then translate the mnemonic language into machine code.

At the time Hopper came up with the concept, working at Remington Rand in the 1950s, programming was done in raw machine code. Then-Lieutenant Commander Hopper wondered if it might be possible to program in a more natural langauge, and worked on writing software which would translate mnemonic representations for machine code into the raw bit patterns that the computer would execute: the first assembler. This led to her creating the first compiler for a programming language that she created: A-0. It was by our standards a very low-level language, not very abstract by comparison to today's programming languages, but the important thing was that she'd realized her idea: the machine could be programmed using a language other than its raw machine code.

This breakthrough led to her work on other, more advanced programing languages, and paved the way for the invention of the first higher-level languages, FORTRAN, LISP, and COBOL. Hopper went on to work on the standardization of COBOL in the 1960s and 70s, working for the Navy Programming Languages group. In the process, she was promoted to Commander, and then Captain.

Her other major contribution to the field of computer science and information technology, was promoting the idea of standards for testing computer equipment and software, which led to the creation of the National Bureau of Standards, today known as the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST).

Hopper was promoted to Commodore by a special Presidential appointment in 1983, in honor of her achievements. This rank no longer exists: it was converted to "Rear Admiral, Lower Half" in 1985, making Hopper the first woman to achieve an admiralty rank. When she retired in 1986, she was awarded the Defense Distinguished Service Medal, highest non-combat award in the US armed forces, in a ceremony aboard the USS Constitution. She was the oldest officer in the Navy (79), aboard the oldest ship in the Navy (commissioned under George Washington).

Hopper is honored by the Association for Computing Machines with their annual "Grace Murray Hopper Award for Outstanding Young Computer Professionals", which was first given in 1971 to Donald Knuth. She also has an Arleigh Burke-class destroyer named after her, the USS Hopper, and was the first woman to be made a distinguished fellow of the British Computer Society in 1973.

Aside from pioneering new ideas, one of the things she was best known for was education. She was known for telling fascinating stories about the early days of computing, including popularizing the term "bug" to relate to a software or hardware defect: Hopper and her associates found a moth stuck in a relay of the Mark II computer at Harvard, which she taped into the log book with the wry note "First actual case of a bug being found."

She would also, at lectures, pass out lengths of wire just under a foot long, which she called "nanoseconds", the length being the distance light would travel in one nanosecond. This was a useful visual aid for people wondering why satellite communication took so long. She would contrast these small lengths with a 1000 foot coil of wire, which represented a microsecond.

I've always found Admiral Hopper a fascinating person, both for her amazing accomplishments, and for the fact that she achieved these things beginning in an era when few women were able to achieve professional distinction due to prejudice, much less serve in the US military. She paved the way for many women to follow her, and had a large part in creating the digital world we now live in.

Tags: ada lovelace day, essays, feminism

So, a friend of mine on Facebook, who I always figured was an intelligent and thoughtful guy, posted a note which was, in my humble opinion, composed entirely of 100% pure, uncut, hand-picked, dry-roasted Columbian fail. In it, this friend, who is a Lutheran pastor, lambasted President Obama and the Democratic Congress for daring to go after AIG's misuse of bailout funds to pay bonuses to their executives.

Yeah, I know.

Here, for those of you who would be interested in a sampling of such high-test fail, and for context purposes, is the letter he wrote. I have taken the liberty of redacting his actual name (Facebook being what it is, everyone's real name shows), and replaced it with initials.

( Cut for those who wish to skip )
I'm not sure on what planet he's been preaching for the last eight years. It sure as hell wasn't Earth.

Obviously, such a posting spawned a comment thread. That thread proved to be, for the most part, a generous helping of farm-fresh failcream to add to the initial dose. I could not decide what part to post, so I posted all of it here.

Again, I have changed all names but mine to initials, and replaced my actual name with "Flewellyn" and "Flew" as appropriate.

( Cut to spare your friends page )

This was, on the whole, such a wonderous serving of fail that I felt a duty to preserve it for posterity. Or perhaps posterior. I'm still ruminating on the events recorded herein, so I may post some thoughts later.

Tags: politics

I keep seeing posts on the blagosphere, and hearing in the news, about people who are absolutely infuriated at the mere idea of using any bailout money to help people with failing mortgages directly. Give it to the wealthy corporations who leveraged those bad mortgages into oblivion and wrecked the economy? Sure, no problem. But give money to people who might otherwise lose their homes? Gasp, no! We can't have that! Those people were stupid and didn't do their homework! We can't be going around rewarding stupidity and failure! They should have KNOWN that this would happen!

Really?

Well, let's have a look at this clip from the Daily Show, which once again proves that the best news reporting in America is coming from comedians, of all places:



So, really...who was stupid? Who was a loser? Who failed?

Tags: politics, topical

Tags: cats, pictures

LimpingPigeon: Drawing rings on a planet should be simple!
LimpingPigeon: Why is it not simple???
Flewellyn: I don't know.
LimpingPigeon: And what's the deal with Uranus?
Flewellyn: What do you mean?
Flewellyn: Tilted on its axis?
LimpingPigeon: With it's crazy sideways rotation axis and shit.
Flewellyn: I don't know.
LimpingPigeon: Where does it get off?
Flewellyn: Hehehe.
LimpingPigeon: Why can't it just rotate like the other planets?
Flewellyn: Not sure. I think the latest theory is that some other object moved past it and perturbed its orbit.
LimpingPigeon: Well, it should just get over it and get its act together.
LimpingPigeon: I mean, we can't just have planets spinning sideways all over the place.
LimpingPigeon: What will the other solar systems think?
LimpingPigeon: It's how rumors start.
Flewellyn: They will think "Jessi's a geek!"
LimpingPigeon: Gliese 581c is a notorious gossip, you know.

Tags: humor, random

So I got to see my old college friend, Monique, today. I had not seen her since college, which was quite some time ago, and so we hung out and ate food and talked of many things.

At one point, she groused about fluffy, flakey neopagans who adopt Native American identities and practices in an attempt to be "special" (Monique's family is Lakota and Mandan). I laughed so hard at what she said, that I decided it must be shared here:

*squeaky voice* "Hi, I'm Rainbow Flowerfarter Woman, and this is my husband, Chafe Turdgargler Warrior!"

Tags: humor, random